what to do?

Not Under the Law

2008-12-01T21:18:00.001-06:00

Before going any further, I recommend that you (re)read the Ten Commandments.

A few weeks ago, someone asked Carla a question about generational sin. We've been memorizing the Ten Commandments at home, so she was ready with an answer (it's in #2). As soon as she said, "Let's look in the Ten Commandments," the person sitting next to her said, "Yes, but we're not under the law any more." Carla told me that she just kind of ignored the person who made the statement and went on to answer the inmate's question.

I wasn't quite sure what to think when Carla told me about this. I just knew that it felt wrong, but a year or two ago, I might have said the same thing.

I can tell you one thing for sure; after going over the Ten Commandments for three weeks, I'm having trouble finding any that I am exempt from...

So let's go through the list. Each one is paraphrased.:

You shall have no other gods before me.
You shall not make for yourself an idol.
You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
You shall not covet.

It may sound like I'm being facetious, but I'm not. Which of these commands given by God is it OK for me and you to ignore?

I hope the obvious answer is 'none.'

The next question is; which of these commandments do we choose to ignore? The reason I ask it this way is because I don't think it's possible for us to accidentally break one of them. Not after reading the list at least. Also, I'm not sure if they go in order of importance (surely murder is worse than not honoring one's parents...), but misusing the name of the Lord and remembering the Sabbath are three and four, respectively. I break number three more than I care to admit and I'm not even sure how to properly remember the Sabbath. I make idols out of myself, money, leisure, and status. In turn, I put other gods first all the time; I don't just elevate myself to the role of god by making myself the center of the universe, but I make the other items I listed into gods as well.

I try to honor my parents. They're both dead but I still catch myself saying negative things about them. I have to stop and ask "does this honor my parents." I'm 43. Am I exempt from this command?

As for the rest, if I use Jesus's standards, I'm guilty. Murder = hatred. Adultery = lust.

I'm not sure how to describe stealing and false testimony. I think these might be the ones I have the least trouble with (did you hear that? Jaws music in the background...), but I'm not always diligent with my time and I embellish stories all the time. How's that for a wimpy admission?

Don't even get me started with coveting. I just got a beautiful new TV and am already wanting a HD recording. Somebody stop me!

I know that the New Testament says we are not under the law; Romans 6:14 says "For sin shall not be your master, for you are not under the law, but under grace."

Georgia

2008-12-01T21:08:00.001-06:00

I'm in the Atlanta airport, waiting to be picked up. I'm sitting next to a store completely dedicated to the Georgia Lottery. Since I've been here, there has been a constant line of people purchasing tickets. I can't help but remember what my friend, Jennifer Francis, used to say about the lottery. She called it, "A tax on people who are bad at math." It should come as no surprise that she is a math teacher.

Anyway, I'm going to be at AIM headquarters this whole week. I'll be attending a staff conference and then spending some time doing web work. Please pray for my girls as they are home all week and for me as I catch up with stuff in Gainesville.

Dawson State Day Two

2008-11-17T11:33:00.003-06:00

I spent Saturday talking with some different people than the ones I met on Friday.

We got into the dorm at about 9:15 and almost everyone was still in bed. There were two guys with cleaning duty sitting at a table, so we sat down and started talking with them. They were both Christians, but, as is typical, were struggling with doing well in prison, but failing on the outside. If you think about it, we all have this problem, it's just that most of us don't go to prison because of our mistakes. Either our sins/failings aren't illegal or we just don't get caught.

I showed both men a chart that Josh Proctor showed me about four years ago. It talks about self-reliance, self-condemnation, and self-indulgence. God used it to change my life and I've been able to share it with lots of people; not all of them in prison... If you want me to show you, let me know.

After a while, Jon Kregel came in to speak. He's a former NASL soccer star who actually played with Pele and ended up doing time in Texas for cocaine possession. He's also a polyglot who speaks six languages fluently (English, French, Spanish, Italian, German, and Portuguese.) and is a translator for the Federal Courts in Dallas; he thought this was quite funny - a convicted felon, translating in the courts. When he was done with his story, I was able to talk with two guys, Randy and Richard, from Fort Worth who were doing time for driving a stolen car and drug possession respectively. Richard was already a Christian and Randy was not interested. He said that he didn't want to lie to me and pretend that he was interested when he knew that he would just go back to his old ways when he got out. He also said that he just wanted to do what he wanted to do and didn't want to change. I said that I understood and that he was in good company because that is exactly what Lucifer said.

I don't normally say things like that, but it was obvious to me that it needed to be said. He looked at me kind of funny, but seemed to accept the truth of my statement. At least we continued our conversation and Richard commented that he was suprised that Randy stayed and talked. Apparently, he usually just walks away. Nothing immediate came of that conversation, but God's word does not return void.

We had lunch again - not quite up to the level of day one - and I spent most of the rest of the day talking with Keith, my friend that is getting out next week and is scared spitless that he'll be back. He was very concerned about the tattoos on his arms and how they would keep him from getting a good job. I tried to encourage him to try to get the best work he could, but I was having trouble not agreeing with his logic regarding the tattoos.

Right before I left, I went over to the corner to a guy I had met at lunch, Devon. He was a Jehovah's Witness and my conversation with him is fodder for another blog...

Prison

2008-11-13T23:23:00.001-06:00

Hey all,

Carla and I are heading to Dawson State Prison tomorrow, 11/14/08, in downtown Dallas. We'll be going both Friday and Saturday from 8 to 3 with 900 other volunteers. We are spread out all over the Metroplex and as far away as Mineral Wells and Venus (not the planet).

Please pray for us whenever we come to mind. Our girls are staying with friends until Saturday so we would appreciate it if you would keep them in your prayers also.

I'm trying to think of words to describe what I saw tonight at the Arlington Hilton; the DFW Headquarters for the Bill Glass Weekend of Champions (WOC).

We walked into the lobby and I immediately started seeing people that I haven't seen in two years. Oddly enough, I don't remember all of their names, I just remember them from previous weekends. I hate to use cliches, but it was great to greet them like old friends; checking their name tags and making sure they could see mine.

I saw Lowell Curtis, James Curtis' father. He told me he's been on sixty six weekends. I ran into George; a guy that I met when he was a freshman (first time teammate) here in Dallas at Hutchins State Prison. He was scared but had a "damn the torpedoes" attitude. I was his prayer partner/buddy because he was a freshman. He left me after about five minutes and ended up leading six people to faith (I had nothing to do with it, I just got to pray for him). We saw Lori, Donna, Leesa, Scott, and David; all people we met in Huntsville, TX. I saw Alan Orr, Jack Murphy, Tully Blanchard (yeah, the guy from the Four Horsemen), and Bill Glass.

There were bikers in full leather, bankers in polos, cowboys, moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, kids from DBU, and LOTS of old men making up for lost time. I smelled cigarette smoke, saw lots of tats and earrings.

We were in a room with 600 Christians singing praise to God the Father. What a weird bunch they were. I felt very much at home.

It's been two+ years since I have done a WOC. I miss it more than I can say. I miss being with people who are totally sold out and willing to give up a weekend to go to prison. Tomorrow, at the banquet, I promise that some old man is going to cry in front of everyone because God has broken his heart. I don't think I've been to a banquet where it didn't happen. The other cool thing is the freshman. Most of them will tell the same story; "I was scared to death. I couldn't believe I let him/her talk me into doing this. I really went just to get him/her to shut up and leave me alone. Then, when I went out on the floor/into the pod/out into the yard, I saw this guy and God told me to go talk to him. I talked with him for a little while and then got to lead him in a pray of salvation. I'm 40 years old and that's the first time I've every done that. I can't believe how good this feels and I can't wait to do it again."

I want you to come with me. Just try it one time. I haven't heard one single person say, "I never should have done that." I'm going to start praying that God would start working on some people's hearts. I will do my best to be the guy that you say, "I just went so he would leave me alone!" I know you're busy. Make it happen.

One thing I can tell you for sure; it's not Prison Break. I have
met very few beautiful people in prison and the prisons usually smell
like an elementary school right after recess... Also, the people that
you meet in prison are real people, not images or caricatures. The
problem is that they don't become real until you meet them; in prison. Come with Carla and me on a WOC.

My Other gods

2008-11-13T17:21:00.001-06:00

Exodus 20:3 You shall have no other gods before Me.

Yesterday, I spent some time with some of my other gods.

I didn't really have a tough day, it was more a draining day. At the end of the day, I was going to eat dinner and then go meet the girls at church. I wrapped up my work, made dinner, and sat down to watch part of a movie on my new, fancy-schmancy TV while I ate.

Ironically, I didn't eat too much and the movie wasn't anything subversive.

But, I was counting on them to make me feel better.

As I was driving to church, I was thinking about why I didn't feel more at ease after a day of work. I had had a good dinner and relaxed with a cool movie. No big deal, right? The problem is that I was counting on something temporal to give me satisfaction and it didn't work.

Just like I want to live for Him right now, I want to only go to him for my satisfaction. Food, relaxation, leisure, entertainment, etc. are cool and, I believe, gifts from God. Unfortunately, I sometimes use them to replace God.

Exodus 20:4-5 'You shall not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the Earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,...'

When Do You Live?

2008-11-12T22:43:00.006-06:00

Yes, the gas leak in Arlington is right by our house; about a block away. Even I can hear it leaking. I asked the police/fire dude standing in the road if he would leave if it was his house. He said no...I'm trusting so far. The kids are understandably freaked out. Rusty, if the place blows up, you can have our Mac.

So, anyway.

Is it possible to live in the future? How about living in the past? Can it be done?

Have you ever met someone who is always looking back to the past? Always going over regrets of mistakes they've made? What about someone who constantly lives for when things will get better. They're not happy now or doing the right thing now, but they will be...

I was speaking in a nursing home this last weekend and was talking about God's plans. I gave them the ol' Jeremiah 29:11 passage, but was struggling with how to apply it to people who may think of themselves as at the end of their lives*.

I asked them to think back over their lives: the good, bad, and seemingly insignificant things they had done. I talked about how God used every part of their lives to make them into the person they are RIGHT NOW. Then I said, "You aren't at the end of your life, you're at the same time you've always been - right now."

After I said this, I stopped and stared at them, thinking over the words that had come unexpectedly from my mouth.

Let's think about this; have you ever really lived in a time other than right now? No, of course not. It isn't possible. But we all know or are people who live like they're in the past or the future. Try as we might, we'll never live any time except for right now.

I'm a future guy. I'm always expecting things to get better or change. This can be good, because I tend to be optimistic. But I also can be discontent in my current circumstances - whatever they may be. When routine sets in, it is difficult for me to not look expectantly to the future for some exciting, but non-existent change. I think that God is trying to teach me to live now. To be content now. To do the right thing now. To serve Him now. To be the person I'm supposed to be right now.

*My father lived in different nursing homes the last ten years of his life. They can be hopeless places. I'm generalizing. Not all nursing homes are like this. Work with me here.

Technorati Tags: life, missions, time

You Never Know...

2008-10-30T09:28:00.001-05:00

My friend, Jessica Kaylor, died yesterday. She was 33, a wife and mother, and had been battling breast cancer for about four years.

I showed up at Jake and Jessica's house yesterday about 10:00 am. I was there to get pictures from their computer so that I could start working on the slideshow for her funeral (at Jake's request). When I saw all the cars parked around the house, my heart sank. I asked someone standing outside if she had died, and he said no. When I went in, most of her family was standing around her bed in the living room. She was still alive, but they were grieving as it was plain she would not last long. I felt weird being there, so I kind of hid in the kitchen, standing where no one could see me. All I could do was pray for the family and Jake specifically.

As I was standing there, Jessica's grandfather walked into the dining area and sat down. He noticed me and said, "How are you today, sir?" I said, "I'm fine and I'm sorry you're not." He sort of lost his composure and said, "When you wake up in the morning, you never know what's going to happen before you go to bed at night."

I didn't know what else to say, so I just stood there in silence, thinking about what he had said.

You never know.

I am, of course, reassured that God the Father DOES know what will happen before I go to bed tonight. But I do not know. I think I need to stop acting like I do know or like I should know or like I should be prepared for everything and anything that comes down the pipe. Maybe it's OK to not know what's going to happen and to not even be ready for it, but to rest in the fact that He knows.

I hope and pray that this statement will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I pray blessing and peace on my brother-in-Christ, Jake Kaylor. He has soldiered long and hard; fighting for his wife, caring for her, sacrificing everything in his care and devotion to her. I know that he has a hard three and half years and that things are not necessarily going to get any easier as he now has three girls to raise without their mother.

He has been a tremendous example to me of what a husband should be.

The Guy Behind Me

2008-10-28T15:15:00.003-05:00

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I'm going to anyway. You're going to think I'm really weird and maybe even consider not hanging out with me after this admission, but I hope that doesn't happen. If it does, I guess I'll just have to live with it. I can take it.

Here goes; I go the speed limit. I use my cruise control all the time. That way, I can set it and know that I'm OK. (I'm sure there is a metaphor with the whole cruise control thing, but I'm working another angle.)

In the interest of full disclosure, I did get a speeding ticket about six years ago. I was going from 360 to Broad and I missed the 40 MPH sign. Fortunately, the officer had a smidgen of mercy on me and the ticket was only for 19 miles over. woo hoo... There have also been a few times the last months that I have convinced myself that I needed to speed. Part of the reason I'm writing this is to make sure I don't do that anymore. It really helps to be accountable...

OK, enough of the mea culpa, let me tell you about the guy behind me.

I don't have a problem with people who go faster than me. You know, the guy who does 75+ all the time because he's late to something. All the time. Yes, it can be dangerous, but at least he's honest about it. "I'm going fast, get out of the way!"

As for people who go slower than the limit, I'm not really sure what to think. Tori calls it "My own personal speed limit." Maybe they're scared, talking on the phone, unaware of the speed limit, have a crummy car, etc. I just hope they don't expect me to go that slow...

It's the guy behind me that really drives me crazy. I'll be cruising along, I'll look behind me and there he is, going the speed limit. I could be on a five lane highway and this dude will stay right behind me, not necessarily tailgating, but never changing lanes. But, if I change lanes (which I usually do), he will speed up and start doing the same speed as the traffic. That's when it hits me. I think "Wait, were you only going the speed limit because I was in the way??"

Yeah, it's "Markie is way too judgmental day." Don't even get me started on how the entire freeway suddenly knows exactly what the speed limit is and how fast they're going as soon as someone spots a cop.

Sculpture of You

2008-10-22T14:30:00.003-05:00

So, just pretend that you're a gifted sculptor. You know, one of those people who can chip away everything that doesn't look like David...

Can you imagine what it would be like to put so much work into such a sculpture and then, when you were finished, people did nothing but point out its flaws? I suppose that I might be able to deal with this, but what if the sculpture itself started to say "why is my nose so big?" "Why did you make me with such a bad temper?" "Why is my hair this color?" "Why do I have this blemish?"

You, as the master sculptor, would respond by smashing the thing...OK, that's how I would respond. You would probably say, "I made your nose like that on purpose." "Yes, you have a fiery temper, but you also have passion. I gave you passion, but you channel it through your anger." "I like that color on you." "I put that blemish there on purpose."

This is starting to sound dangerously like one of those "Footprints in the Sand" kind of things...so let's go to the meat.

I'm constantly bothered by the thought that I am not where I am supposed to be. Yes, I understand that it is important to strive to improve myself, but that is not what I'm talking about. At no time in my life have I EVER thought "wow, I'm exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing." I always feel guilty about things that are not being done, attitudes that I should change, and the mistakes that shape my life.

Could it be that if I am submitted to God and am following his ways, that I AM exactly where I should be? Could it be that the place I am in now is not a surprise to God and is, therefore, where he wants me to be?

Before you reject that idea and/or start to add all the qualifiers, chew on it for a bit.

What if you, in all your inadequacies, faults, sins, failures, and triumphs, are where God intended you to be all along? What if he actually made you for this insignificant moment? You with your divorce, the damage you've caused to the people around you, the mistakes you made in college that forced you to take seven years instead of four (guilty), the child you gave up for adoption, the people who have hurt/used you, the parents that made your life hard because of their many mistakes.

What if God is using all the clay, mud, dirt, marble, straw, gold, and diamonds that are your life to make you into the person you are right now. What if God doesn't worry about the person you're going to be or that you were, but instead focuses on the person that you are.

Wow, what a weight off...

Submitted

2008-10-15T23:44:00.001-05:00

So, I was in Mongolia...(click the link and make sure to read #5, it's worth it.)

Anyway, I was on a mission trip and I asked Brent Edwards, the trip leader, if I could lead the devotional one morning. He said sure. I felt strongly led by God to talk about the issue of obedience v. sacrifice as addressed in I Samuel 15:22 and Psalm 51:16-17.

I started my little talk by saying, "I keep hoping this is a word for someone else." I just let it hang there and Chris Machen started laughing. Obviously, he had experienced the same thing.

That is sort of how I feel right now. I hope this is a word for someone else, but I've got a scary feeling that it is a word for me.

Is there a difference between being committed to God and being submitted to God?

I put this question to some friends in choir tonight and Jenks asked "Is it possible to do one without the other?" I think he's got a good point, but, after some thought, I think it is possible to be committed without being submitted.

Some examples from Scripture:

The Rich Young Ruler - he was committed. According to him, he had kept all of the commandments since his youth. Whether or not he actually had isn't relevant; HE thought that he had. But was he submitted? No. When Jesus asked him to do something that wasn't on the list, as hard and harsh as it was, the RYR said 'No' with his feet.
Gideon - with the fleece, he was twice committed. When he gathered the army, I believe this is evidence that he was submitted. The stuff he did with 300 men was only possible with God's help; that's submission.
Peter - Before the crucifixion - committed. After the Resurrection and his time with Jesus on the beach - submitted to his core.
Noah - Submitted
Moses - I think he also started out committed, but, sometime around the parting of the Red Sea, proved he was submitted.
Paul - Before the road to Damascus - committed. After - submitted.

OK, now for the hard part. Am I committed? Of course I am. I go to church three times a week, I read the Bible, teach Sunday School, go on mission trips, and I don't smoke, drink, or chew (tobacco, that is). I can usually find I Thessalonians, I've memorized some verses, listen exclusively to Christian music, and I wear Christian t-shirts. You want the checklist? I got it.

Am I submitted? I'm having trouble answering this question. Of course I want to SAY that I'm submitted to God, but that would mean that I would have to BE submitted to God. If I decide that I'm not submitted, then I'll have to do something about it. This isn't something that one can safely lie about...

I think that being committed is the laundry list of things that we do to prove that we are good Christians. This isn't necessarily bad - James says that he shows his faith by his deeds. But I think that being submitted is when you follow God's list. He doesn't have as much stuff on his list, but His list is much harder to check off. Maybe that's it, you can't check the stuff off of God's list, you can only do them. Always.

As usual, I don't think this is the only and final answer. I'm really trying to reason this out. Brothers and sisters, help me out. What do you think?

Church

2008-10-14T11:51:00.001-05:00

I remember being 19. Really. I was so sure of everything that was right and wrong. I wasn't afraid to let others know when they were doing something wrong.

As I got older, I think this was tempered a bit, but not much. My new attitude was "if you're not where I am spiritually, you're not in the right place."

Now, I hope my attitude is one of letting God deal with me where I am and letting God deal with people where they are. The important part of this is that it is OK for this to happen. You don't have to be where I am and I don't have to be where you are. Does this make sense?

Last week, I ran into an interesting attitude. I was having a discussion with someone about the death penalty. I used to be adamantly, all-the-time, black-and-white for the death penalty. While I am still in favor of the death penalty, it is with great reluctance.

The guy I was talking to was a believer and was against the death penalty. No problem; one needs to stand up for what they believe is right. However, in our discussion his attitude seemed to be "If you would just think about this as much as I have, you would agree with me." As you can imagine, I had a problem with that. My response was "What if I have thought about this issue and I still agree with the implementation death penalty?" I haven't heard back from him...

I've been reading a lot of Christians lately who are very upset with the Church. Their basic complaint seems to be that the Church is flawed and not doing a very good job keeping up with the changes in our culture.

What's the big deal? Seriously, did people really not know the Church was flawed? Was this some big surprise? Did everyone suddenly wake up some time around January 2000 and figure out that we're not perfect? Of course we're not perfect. If you want to go to a church where you're greeted immediately, and people get to know you, make you feel welcome, shake your hand, ask about your kids/job/life/spouse, and where the preacher doesn't make you mad and where you love the music, don't come to my church. It's not going to happen. Take your august self somewhere else. I promise you that if you show up with this freaking laundry list of things that have to happen NONE of it will happen. You'll be sitting in your lonely pew, crying in your bulletin that nobody is paying attention to you, the music is too loud/quiet/fast/slow and the pastor doesn't speak good...

How does this tie into the attitudes I was talking about earlier? These are Christians I'm talking about, i.e. people who should know better. These are people who are mad/upset/disappointed with everyone else at church because they (the Church) doesn't think the same way the complainers do. If a church doesn't have a homeless ministry, does that mean the church isn't in God's will? What if the church isn't relevant to today's culture and doesn't have small groups/cells/life groups and multiple satellite locations? Are they not where they should be with the Father?

In the interest of clarification, I think that it's great that churches have homeless ministries and I'm trying to get mine to go to downtown Dallas. I also like the idea of cell groups, but don't really like the whole satellite concept. Does that mean that I don't think churches should do the whole "satellite" thing. Of course not. I go to prisons with Bill Glass ministries. Does that mean that you should also? Maybe, but that's between you and God, not between me and you. If you don't go with me to prison or to downtown Dallas, it doesn't make me mad or even disappointed; I am compelled to go regardless of who goes with me. It is fruitless to get angry or upset with other people over this. Believe me, I've tried being people's Holy Spirit and it's no fun.

Having said all that, do I think that many Christians need to get out of their couch zone, turn off the TV, and go talk with some actual humans, just like Jesus did*? Yes. Does it bother me that many Christians talk the talk, but don't walk at all? Yes. Am I going to let it keep me awake nights? No. I'm responsible to do what God has called me to do and for me it ends there. If you want to go to prison with me or do some work in Dallas, email me.

Please let me know what you think of this. Am I way off base?

*OK, Jesus didn't turn off the TV...

Blood and Fire

2008-03-16T21:24:00.001-05:00

Blood and Fire
Originally uploaded by markie13

testing

Some Very Interesting Blogs

2007-11-05T07:48:00.000-06:00

For some reason, there are a number of very cool blogs I'm reading today. I highly recommend you taking a look at each of them. I promise they are worth the trip:

2007-11-05T07:46:00.000-06:00

The Story

I've always had trouble with the word 'transparency' as we use it today. I don't really know why. Maybe because it is an ill-defined word. Does it mean 'see-through' or 'humble?' Does it mean that one doesn't hide anything? It could mean any of these things, depending on how it is used. I think that most people, when they say that we should be transparent, mean honest.This last weekend, Carla was reading the biography of Eric Liddell to us as we drove out to Wylie. (You know, '

Chariots of Fire' and all that...) In the story, Eric is a missionary in China and gives a devotional to the Chinese kids he is teaching. He talks about the meaning of the word 'sincere.' According to Liddell, sincere comes from two words: sine, meaning 'without,' and cere, meaning 'wax.' Apparently, sculptors would stamp the word 'sincere' at the bottom of their sculptures, indicating that it was 'without wax.' In other words, no wax was used to cover up blemishes or errors in the sculpture. If there were any imperfections, the artist left them visible.

Liddell went on to say that this is how we should live our lives as Christians; without wax. However, it seems that we spend so much time trying to cover up our blemishes and imperfections that we're completely COVERED with wax.

The irony is that, just like an artist would purposely leave blemishes visible, God made us just like we are; covered with blemishes and imperfections. Yet, we conceal what God created and only let people see what we want them to see; a false image of ourselves that we can control.

The Application

So, what does this look like? Does this mean that we should share every little problem and insecurity that we have? I don't know. I hate to sound all churchy, but I have a funny feeling we're going to get somewhere like "It looks like Jesus." Then we have to ask, what does THAT mean?

What do you think?

Yours, without wax,

mark

The Day II

2007-11-05T07:43:00.000-06:00

This is part two of The Day I

So, the flight was awesome. Usually, Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) lessons are very indepth, but not very personal. I don't really know how to explain this, it's just how I feel. Anyway, it seemed that so many of the passages spoke directly to me. They either dealt with me and what I was doing or with Mike and Lauren. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it...

When I arrived at John Wayne airport, my friend Steve Basden called me from Adventures In Missions (AIM). He told me that they had spent their morning devotional time covering me in prayer and that he wanted to pray the armor of God over me. So, while I stood outside in the California air, he prayed for me from 2,000 miles away. It was great to know that I had people praying for me all over the US, but especially good to know that my brothers and sisters at AIM were taking it to the Lord and doing battle in the spirit.

My oldest brother, Ken, picked me up and we drove off. He had driven fifty miles just to take me to Mission Viejo and drop me off - what a man! While he drove, we talked about the situation and then, when he dropped me off, he prayed for me. It seems like this is much that I can't explain about this experience: my feelings as I prepared, the fervency with which I prayed, my time with God on the plane, my feelings as my oldest brother prayed for me and blessed me. He's prayed for me before, but never like this. I felt like I was being sent into battle with everything I needed.

He dropped me off at Mike's work and I went in with my rolling suitcase following behind me. Mike helped with marketing in a small call center and, therefore, had a cube all to himself (but no window, alas). When I got to his cube, I was informed that he was in a meeting. I sat down, checked my email, and started to play with the stuff on his desk. After about ten minutes, he showed up. He just stood there and kind of stared at me, then said my name. I could tell he was surprised...

I told him I wanted to take him to lunch, if that was OK, and that I needed a place to stay for a few days. He said I could stay at his place (what a nice guy). Mike's boss knew that I was in from out of town, so he let Mike take off a little early for lunch. We went to some Mexican place - a California Mexican place. (If this doesn't mean anything to you, don't worry about it. The food was good.)

It's important for me to reiterate a point here; I rarely listen to what people are saying. I'm usually planning my next move or trying to analyze what they're saying so I can figure out what they really mean. This is not good. The whole way to California and all the time I was there, God kept telling me to be quiet and listen. To let Mike and Lauren talk and not make judgements of them. Throughout the entire time I was there, I made a concerted effort to not speak about important issues until I felt released by God to do so. Sorry if this freaks you out, but that doesn't change anything.

Neither one of us figured we had a much time for chit-chat, so we got right to the point. He said that it took him about thirty seconds to figure out why I was there, and I asked him not to be upset with his sister for telling me. I didn't figure he would be, he's just not that kind of guy, but I wanted to be sure.

I don't remember much of what we said. I just remember trying to listen to him without all that garbage in my head. It was obvious that he didn't know what to do. While I was trying not to make any judgements (or smack him in the head - I've know this boy since he was six), he said that he knew I thought abortion was wrong and he didn't like it either, but he didn't know what else to do. They had gone to get some counseling at PP (I refuse to name them, as they might get some linkage from it), and had, of course, been counseled to get an abortion. He spoke about how this was going to put a serious damper on his life and plans for the future. This is where God's hold on my tongue was a very good thing. Rather than saying what I really wanted to say, I said "On Friday, your life will be changed, no matter what you do. It'll either be changed with a baby or without, but you'll never be the same person after that day." As it turns out, he said this was one of the statements I made that really made him think about what he was doing.

Next, a trip to Lauren's house...

Vision

2007-10-22T10:13:00.001-05:00

I've recently finished the autobiography of Phil Vischer, the Veggie Tales guy. It's a great read and I highly recommend it.

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late!!), he lost everything. I don't think he even owns Bob and Larry anymore. I know he doesn't own Big Idea (the Veggie Tales company). He said that he had all these great plans and visions about becoming the Christian Disney and now the plans are all dead. God made it clear to him that He didn't want Phil's plans and dreams, he only wanted Phil.

Related to that, Vischer points out that the verse most Evangelicals use to explain/excuse our plans is the King James' version of Proverbs 29:18a - Where there is no vision, the people perish… From this, we get our mega-churches and building programs; man-created visions that we expect God to bless.

He then points out that the NIV version of this verse is quite different: Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restrain… According to Vischer, when the KJV used the word ‘vision,' it meant something totally different in 1611 than it does now. Then, it meant that God gave one a vision or that God gave vision. Now, it means "our plans for the future." However, if we wait for God to reveal himself and/or his plans, imagine what could happen!

So, that's what I'm trying to do right now; wait/look for God's revelation of his plan. I've got all kinds of great ideas and plans for what I should be doing, but I can't say that they are God's plans. I pray that he will show me the way to go.

This is really hard. As an American man, I'm supposed to have a five year plan, a vision of very specific goals that I am committed to reaching. It's hard to let that go and let God give HIS vision for my family's future. In Amos 3:7, Amos says, Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets. I don't think I'm a prophet - that's not the point - but I do think that God wants to reveal his plans.

My prayer, for you and for me, is that we would follow God's direction

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

2007-08-28T10:34:00.001-05:00

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Secundina Vimeo

2007-08-17T10:08:00.000-05:00

Segundina from Mark Lindberg and Vimeo.

A Traitor

2007-08-09T15:22:00.000-05:00

I feel like Cypher, the guy from the Matrix that sold out the whole group so that he could go back to his old life.

"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak] Ignorance is bliss."

Cypher had, for whatever reason, grown tired of real life and wanted to go back into the Matrix, where he could live in blissful ignorance of the real world.

I almost wish I could go back. I could still be working in Dallas - at a different place. I could be making $60K a year and have a great health plan, maybe even a new house.

[This is the part of the movie in which I fall asleep/get hit on the head and have a dream where I see what my life would have been like if I hadn't made the choices that I've made.]

Of course, my life would royally suck. I'd be divorced/very unhappy, my kids would be distant, and I'd be in debt up to my eyeballs. I'd have a cool loft and a great car, but would be all alone. None of what I had would mean anything to me because everything that was truly important would be gone. I would also see how my selfish choices adversely affected those around me; my family especially. I would probably cry in agony as I tried to win back what I had lost, unable to reach those most dear to me.

At the end of the movie, I would come to the realization that my wife and family were more important than anything. Then, I would wake up, step in dog pee, hear my girls fighting and smile, knowing that I was doing the right thing.

OK, I'm ready to wake up now.

In His Will

2006-07-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

Can you imagine what that would feel like? Can you imagine what that would be like?

I'm not sure I've ever been there, but I think I have. I don't mean that I was perfectly in God will, but there have been times when I felt like I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

Does this sound scary? I think it should. Everyone knows stories of someone who was so convinced that they were doing God's will that they either did something really stupid or were absolutely unwilling to listen to any counsel that contradicted what they believed. How does one prevent this from happening?

I don't know. But, I do have some ideas. Shock!

For me, my most recent, real life example would be raising support to go on staff with AIM. There were quite a few people who didn't think this was a good idea (there were also a fair number of people who supported our decision to go with AIM). I have a family to support, bills to pay, that kind of thing. Most of the people who didn't support the idea were very close to us, making it all the harder to accept. How does one stand against an unexpected onslaught of well thought-out criticism that is contrary to what one believes should be done? Did God really tell me what he wanted me to do? Did he just open a door of opportunity to see if I would take it? Or, was what I thought I should do actually contrary to God's will?

The Test - taken from AIM literature, but adaptable to just about anything

Does it exalt Christ? (John 16:14)
Is it scriptural? (Proverbs 30:5-6)
Do other Christians confirm it? (Proverbs 15:22)
Does it produce good fruit? (John 15: 1-16)
Does God bring it to pass? (Isaiah 55: 10-11)

The answers, by the numbers:

Yes. By foregoing the things that the world has to offer in terms of status, advancement, and security, I was/am following God's desires - Matthew 6:33, Luke 9:23
Yes. See verses in previous answer
Yes. Many of my friends confirmed that this was a good idea. Does this make it right? No, but it sure helps.
Yes. I've been able to spend more of my time in ministry - going on mission trips, going to prisons, talking at church. I believe that God has used these opportunities to bring people to him. I've got stories if you want to hear them...leave a comment.
Yes. Ten months after Carla and I decided to go full-time with AIM, we had raised over 100% of our support-raising goal.

So, with this test, I can say that God wanted us to go with AIM. Does this mean I'm right? No, of course not. But it does give me a level of confidence that I would not otherwise have.

Ok, back the original questions: Can you imagine what that would feel like? Can you imagine what that would be like? Am I there now? I don't know. I sure don't feel like I am - see the previous post. I think that we/I get stuck in the past. Sort of a 'if I did it this way before, it must be the only way' kind of thing. It doesn't appear to work this way with God. Not that one always has to think of new ways to talk to God and/or get his approval - nothing could be farther from the truth. It's more that one cannot rest on one's laurels. One needs to keep growing.

This is what I think happened to me; I have stopped trying to grow in my relationship with God. I just expected that what I had done in the past would be all I needed to do. To keep the record straight, God doesn't operate by performance-based acceptance (PBA). He loves us the same, no matter what and is always willing to forgive and restore us (I John 1:9, Ephesians 3: 17-19, Isaiah 38:17, Isaiah 43:25, Isaiah 55:6-7 (while I'm thinking about it, I just discovered Isaiah 58:6-11...very interesting), Joel 2:32) Ok, having said all that, I think that one needs to continue to learn and grow as a believer. It's like climbing a hill and stopping when you're at a place that you love and then never starting to climb again...

Dry Spell

2006-07-29T15:39:00.000-05:00

I've been going through a dry spell.

I feel like God is not near.

I said this to someone when he asked if there was anything he could pray for. His first response to me was, 'Are you in the Word?' I had to say no.

I've been reading the Bible just for the heck of it. I pick up my small Bible and read Matthew. I was inspired to do this by Donald Miller, the guy who wrote 'Blue Like Jazz.' I'm sure it's a good idea and all, but I haven't spent any time studying God's word for three to four months.

So, of the last two mornings, I spent one of them actually studying. I'd love to say that everything is peachy, but of course it doesn't work that way. I do, however, feel like this is what I'm missing.

My wife and I led a mission trip to Mississippi at the beginning of July and I went will all the authority I could muster. AIM does a good job, I think, of letting project leaders know that they have been given spiritual authority over the trip. Throughout the entire trip, even after seeing God work and do cool stuff, I still felt like I wasn't right. I don't mean this in the sense of "I'm right and you're wrong,' I mean this in the sense that nothing felt right. There were a few times when I felt like I was solidly in his will, but, for the most part, I felt like I was on the outside, sort of hanging around for scraps from the table of his grace.

I do not blame God for this in any way. I'm the one who moved. He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. His will and direction are constant.

Drew, the speaker at my local Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), said, 'There is a difference between being in God's grace and God's approval.' I have felt, maybe since I heard him say that, that I am living in God's grace, not in his approval. Right now, God is being patient and longsuffering with me - this is what I think anyway. I am living only for myself. My focus and desires are only for me.

It's kind of like exercise: I think about it, imagine what it would be like to do all the workouts and exercises that I should do, I imagine eating properly but I never do it. I see myself falling down in my closet and asking God to forgive me for my sloth, arrogance, shortsightedness, and desire to go my own way. But I never do it.

I want to know what God wants me to do. I want to do what God wants me to do. I do not want to have a will of my own. I only want to follow him - to be part of whatever he is doing.

The Day

2006-02-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

On 2/15, I was on the way to Mission Viejo, CA to talk with my nephew and his girlfriend - more on the particulars later. Here's what happened on the plane ride there.

I had the most incredible time with God this morning as I flew from Dallas to Orange County. I was doing my BSF lesson about Abraham, Isaac, and Rebekah. I felt like God wrote the whole lesson just for me to use today.

I was sitting on the plane and suddenly, the question popped into my head, ‘Why am I doing this? What is the justification for this radical action?’

First, Carla and I prayed and asked God for guidance.
We spent much time in prayer, together and alone, crying out to God. We thought he was telling us to go, but asked him for a sign. We decided, after some conversation, that we knew we should go, it was just matter of when.

Second, we received confirmation that God wanted me to go.
All of our Christian brothers and sisters who heard of the situation and our plan to go confirmed that it was a good idea. They offered airline miles and offered help to Carla at home alone with the girls. Most importantly, my niece gave me her ok to go. She had told us this terrible secret against her brother’s spoken request and we did not want to have to betray her brother’s confidence.
For Carla and me, getting her permission was the sign that NOW was the time to go. It was very hard for me to wait for this – I wanted to go ASAP. However, my wise wife counseled me by reminding me that we had asked God for a sign and we needed to wait in faith for his timing. Proverbs 12:4.

Third, I got confirmation from God’s word.
On the plane to Orange County, I decided to do my Bible Study Fellowship lesson (BSF). For those of you who know, it was lesson 20 of the Genesis study. As I studied, the passages from the study began to speak directly to me about the situation I was in. Almost every verse and passage spoke to my heart and encouraged me, or gave me wisdom for what to tell my nephew and his girlfriend.
Here’s list of the scriptures that God used to speak to me (NIV):

James 3:17, 18
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

James 4:17
Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t, sins.

II Corinthians 1:3 – 5
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

II Corinthians 7:6a
But God, who comforts the downcast…

Colossians 2:2,3
My purpose is that they might be encourage in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Matthew 11:28 – 30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Psalms 25:9
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

Matthew 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Ezekiel 36:27
And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.

Psalms 18:6
In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

Psalms 18:16 – 19
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. 17He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. 18They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. 19He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalms 118: 5 – 7
In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. 6The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? 7The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.

News

2006-02-20T12:57:00.000-06:00

My friends and everyone else...

I apologize to everyone who has read this blog for not keeping it up. Maybe I'm fooling myself, but I've heard from at least a few people that had been reading this blog. How interesting that something I thought was not read at all is actually being used.

I've had some really cool stuff happen lately and will be writing about it within the next day or two.

mark

Flight 93 Memorial

2005-09-10T08:54:00.000-05:00

Here is a copy of the email I submitted to the National Park Service regarding the proposed Flight 93 memorial. If you care. I honestly can't believe it's true. It's got to be a hoax, it's so bad.

To Whom It May Concern,
The proposed crescent design of the Flight 93 memorial is a slap in the face of the people who gave their lives defending themselves and our country on that fated flight.
You should by no means approve this design that blatantly honors the terrorists who were responsible for the crash of Flight 93.
Sincerely,
Mark Lindberg

I got this story from Michelle Malkin.

[update]I tried to send the email and got a 404 server error - file not found for the uninitiated.
If you want to try it, you can go here. I hope this is happening because they're getting inundated with emails. You can also call at 814.443.4557.

First Official Day as a Missionary

2005-09-05T23:52:00.000-05:00

Well, that was fun. I slept way too late because I've been working on AIM's Katrina Relief Effort database all weekend. After I woke up, I did some more db work and fixed various errors on the site that we built and posted in one day.

We went to see the March of the Penguins - here's news for you...it's a documentary. Haven't you seen them before? What's the big deal? I paid $24 to see a documentary. Shoot me now.

After the movie and some dinner with the cousins at Grapevine Mills, the girls and I went to Dallas to find a man at the evacuee center in Reunion Arena. His family is at a center in Baton Rouge and he is, supposedly, here in the DFW area. I wasn't able to find him, but I think I will be able to track him down tomorrow. Apparently, he is an older man and doesn't know that his family is safe in Baton Rouge.

What's really cool is that tomorrow, I'll get to go on an errand of mercy, serve God and it'll be part of my job. Is that great or what?

I met a guy tonight from SGI. He said it was a world peace organization that is chartered by the UN. He was fairly reticent about it and it seemed kind of creepy. Anyone know what they are and what they do?

Ok, forget that. I just went and found them on the internet. They are officially creepy and I refuse to link to them. Here's a quote from their website:

Soka Gakkai International (SGI) is a Buddhist association with more than 12 million members in 190 countries and territories worldwide. For SGI members, Buddhism is a practical philosophy of individual empowerment and inner transformation that enables people to develop themselves and take responsibility for their lives.

The problem I have is that he never said he was Buddhist. He just came across all...I hate to use the word again, but creepy is it. It's Humanism. Man, it's too late to start that debate.

The Whole Support Thing

2005-09-05T01:38:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a missionary. I raise support for half of my income.

There, I said it.

One can't imagine how hard it has been to say that.

It has been very difficult to view myself as a Missionary. Note, if you will, the capital M.

I have been raising support for almost a year. I am attempting to go on staff with a missions trip organization in Gainesville, GA called Adventures In Missions. I will be their internal web guy. Throughout all of this, I've been a missionary. I've been on multiple mission trips, gone to prison, and even did an interview with the child of a friend who needed to interview a missionary. But I wasn't officially on staff because I didn't have my support raised.

Yesterday, 9/4, God provided all of our support.

Our church was discussing the possibility of upping our support $200 a month so that we could get over the hump. They had to table the issue because of budget issues - they don't have a mission budget right now. Then, on Sunday, a member of a sunday school class said he and his wife would support us for $200 a month. Praise God! Now we're at 100.99% of our support.

Thanks be to the great God of the universe for his marvelous love and favor. I will praise him as long as I have breath. Who am I that he is mindful of me?

Why Did You Make Me This Way?

2005-09-04T00:02:00.000-05:00

Why are you the way you are?

I don't mean this in a 'God, why did you make me this way?' kind of lament. I mean, for what purpose was I crafted?

Think about all the things that make you you.

Ok, here's me: I'm a daydreamer, I make jokes all the time, I'm really good at looking for shortcuts, I am introspective, I'm very gregarious, I'm very loquacious (I LOVE that word), I love to ask people questions, I love to know the truth - from the source, not from you (as my wife, Carla, says, 'what does it say in the text?'), I'm very sarcastic, I love to read.

Somebody stop me...that list could go on forever. The Bible says I was made for a purpose - see Ps 139:13-15 and Jeremiah 29:11-13. God took whatever was required to make the unique person of me and had some sort of plan. All these parts are put together so that I can do...? What? What is it that God had planned?

Look at the list of attributes above. All of them come from some God-given characteristic. But look how the enemy has taken what God has made and turned it to evil: I can wile away the day doing nothing, I'm inconsiderate of others, I'm lazy, I'm withdrawn, I talk WAY too much, I'm nosy, I'm arrogant, I'm mean, I put myself before others.

Two things I'm NOT trying to do: 1 - Absolve myself of responsibility for my own actions, 2 - Fish for compliments.

Think about it - what if I was able to take all those cool, God-given attributes and use them for Him. Rather than serving my self and my own interests, I could serve Him. It would be so awesome to find the groove, wouldn't it? That place where you are being used as you are, as you were created, and as you were intended to be used.

I am praying for myself that God would make me part of his story. No, I don't mean that as a play on words of 'History.' I mean, God has a story that he wrote a long time ago. Now, I'm asking God to show me my part in his story, rather than asking him to be part of mine.

A Real Man

2005-08-11T12:24:00.000-05:00

So, I was sitting at work one day in Dallas (sometime in 2002), dreaming about lunch. I'm a pretty big guy and this is a common occurrence.

I had five bucks and change in my pocket and I was thinking about how I was going to go to the Italian place two blocks away and get a stromboli. yuuummmm.

Carla and I had just talked the night before about not using the credit cards. You know, the whole radical idea of not spending money you don't actually have. Where do people get this crazy stuff?

So, I was going to be good. I was going to spend actual cash.

As I was sitting there, I felt God tell me that he wanted me to give my money away and fast for lunch. I had been thinking about fasting and had done it once or twice and it was pretty cool. Not something I wanted to do all the time, but a good thing to get one focused on the right stuff.

Ok, the whole fasting thing is cool and all, but this stromboli is GOOD. It was not going to kill me to miss a meal or six, but I really wanted that stromboli.

Here's what I did: I said, 'Ok, God. If someone asks me for some money when I go to lunch, I'll give them all my cash. But if they don't, I'm doing the stromboli thing."

I sat at my desk, counting the minutes until lunch. I planned to have a working lunch...

11:30:01 I was out the door. I didn't get twenty feet before a homeless-looking guy walks up to me and asks if I have any spare change. Boom. Just like that.

What was I supposed to do? If I give this guy my money, no stromboli. There was no way I could use a credit card to buy myself lunch...

Then, I had a brilliant idea. It was so brilliant, I was stunned by its clarity and magnificence. I would use a credit card to buy HIM lunch. That way, I would get my stromboli and eat it too. So to speak. I would gain points with God for being obedient, and there was no way that using a credit card to help someone could be wrong.

I said, "How about I just buy you lunch?"

He said, "Ok."

I asked him where he wanted to eat, but his attitude was "you're buying, I'm flying." I suggested Subway and he said fine. (Crucial part of the plan; Subway takes plastic, McDonald's doesn't.)

As we walked to Subway (which is, coincidentally, just past the stromboli place), I talked with him and asked him questions about his life. His name was Keith, and he seemed fairly with it. There did seem to be just a little something missing. Not mentally, more like he had accepted his station and had given up. This, from a five minute conversation...

Anyway, I told him that I was buying him lunch because God told me to and had given me the money to do it. I just didn't tell him which money... As we waited for his 12 inch meatball and mayo combo, we chatted about inconsequentials, I paid, wished him luck and headed to stromboli heaven.

I crossed the street and was immediately run over by a bus.

Just kidding.

Sitting on the sidewalk, right in front of me, was a guy asking for spare change.

Stromboli.

I told the guy, "I'm sorry, I just bought lunch for someone and now, all I have is enough money to buy myself lunch." I then promised to help him out another day.

I walked away, towards my blessed stromboli.

Inside the Italian place, I ordered my stromboli, paid, and sat down to wait for them to heat it up. As I was waiting, I thought, "I have change in my pocket. I can take it to the second guy who asked for money." I was so impressed with myself. I had been obedient to God, bought Keith lunch, got a stromboli, and was about to give my change to another homeless guy. It was the five loaves and two fishes all over again in Dallas, Texas.

I stepped out onto the sidewalk and started to walk towards the guy begging on the sidewalk. I looked up the street to where he was and stopped in my tracks. Sitting next to him, sharing his sandwich, was Keith. He had taken the sub I bought and split it with the guy. Even the chips and soda.

I made myself keep walking towards them, even though I was struggling not to cry. I handed the man my change and told Keith, "You're a better man than I am."

It sounded melodramatic, but there was nothing else I could say. Here I was, a fat, rich man, blessed by God with everything I needed. There was Keith, a skinny, homeless guy, blessed by God with a good heart.

I Samuel 15:22

Raising Support Update

2005-08-10T16:57:00.000-05:00

$234 in monthly pledges to go...wow. That means we have been able to raise $1878 in monthly pledges. Who woulda thunk?

Right now, we have a total of 34 supporters with more on the way. Praise God.

Yesterday, I was doing some daydreaming - as I do from time to time. I was imagining what it would be like to have a lot of money. Yes, God convicted me about this, I just didn't respond to the conviction as quickly as I should have. I KNOW that I can't depend on money. It just causes more and new problems and doesn't really solve anything. God has also shown me that it would be very easy to make money a god. But man, wouldn't it be cool?

So, as I was putting away the thoughts of having big money, God showed me that I was doing the same thing with the $234 in monthly pledges. It's not big money, it's little money. But, I am still looking to that money for security. 'If I just had the rest of my support raised, everything would be cool.' Or something like that. I'm not sure that God is concerned with scale on issues like this. The love of money is wrong, at any level - see 1 Timothy 6:10 and Hebrews 13:5.

Of course I want to have the support raised. Of course it would be cool. But I keep going back to a statement by John Candy in the movie, 'Cool Runnings.' He said, "...if you're nothing without a medal, you'll be nothing with a medal."

More Matamoros ATLs

2005-08-10T00:54:00.000-05:00

The third ATL I led was cool. Way. Just remember, I was there, I saw this with my own eyes.

It was a pretty large group - about 12 - and we had to meet right outside the noisy VBS tent. I introduced the ATL and sent them away to pray.

When they came back, they immediately started to tell me what they thought God had revealed to them. Red shoes. A woman, all alone and carrying a heavy burden. A blue house. A man in a yellow shirt, walking by a blue car and Trinity was supposed to translate (this was from a young girl of about 12. I'll never forget what she said because she said it with such assurance). One of the leaders said, sort of embarrassed-like, 'something Irish...?' No one really reacted. We just said ok, and moved on to the next person.

We did the test and started out. I asked which direction we should go and they all said they wanted to go find a woman they had met the day before. They knew where her house was, so we started in that direction.

The first house we went to had a few people in the yard. We talked with them and weren't getting anywhere. It was apparent that they were just being polite. We said goodbye and walked across the street to a big, blue house. A young woman came out and three girls from our group went over to talk to her. The rest of us stayed back and prayed for them.

While we were praying, one of the girls in the group came up to me and asked if it was ok if she kept praying and asking God to show her something. Of course, I said yes. She moved across the street and began to pray. She came up to me five to ten minutes later and said that God had shown her a boat. I asked her what kind of boat and she said, 'a boat.'

Meanwhile, the girls that were at the house went inside for about five minutes. When they came out, they were smiling like you wouldn't believe. They said that the girl they had talked to was pregnant and her husband had been missing - she thought he was in jail in the States. One of our groups had visited her the day before and had prayed for the lady and her husband. He came home that night. When we showed up, she was ready to accept Christ as her savior and her grandmother was too. Praise God!

We continued walking and got to the house of the person they were looking for. She wasn't there. They talked with her young son - he was 12-14 - and, as we were leaving, I saw Trinity slip him some cash.

We turned a corner and saw a woman carrying a baby who was wearing red shoes. Some of the group started talking with her while about four others from our group went to the next house and started witnessing. The lady with the baby was a Jehovah's Witness. They gave her a tract and a Bible and left her alone after talking with her for a while. I wish I remembered what happened at the other house, but I don't.

As we were leaving, someone came out of that house and went to the bus stop. One of our girls, one who had not said a single word voluntarily the whole time we were out, took Trinity and the pastor's wife and went and talked with the girl at the bus stop. She told me later that she felt a strong push from the Holy Spirit to talk to the girl and she said to God, "If you want me to talk with her, you're going to have to make her come to me." When she looked up, the girl was walking straight at her. Is that cool or what?

It was time to head back, so we headed towards the VBS site, keeping the three people at the bus stop in sight. We stopped at a corner and someone saw a bunch (3) of people wearing yellow shirts standing across from a blue car. They shouted at me, 'Hey, look, there they are.' Meaning, the man in the yellow shirt thing mentioned earlier. I pointed out that none of the people wearing yellow shirts were, technically, male and therefore did not fit the criteria. They acknowledged this and went to talk with them anyway. What the heck, it was what we were there for.

I stayed on the corner so I could keep an eye on both groups. When the group of three left the bus stop, I directed them across the street to the yellow shirts.

I'll never forget what happened next. It was like I was watching a movie that I was also in...does that make sense? I saw a man in a yellow shirt walk by the blue car. I watched Trinity, the pastor's wife, and the junior high girl turn their heads and see the man in the yellow shirt. They headed towards him and he just kept on moving, around the corner and out of the picture. The three of them went to the house behind the blue car and led the father and the daughter to the Lord. Woo Hoo!

I found out later that the blue car had a shamrock hanging from the mirror and the thing that caught the eyes of the three girls was a water truck that drove by with a boat on it.

Why does stuff happen like this? I don't know. Does God do this kind of stuff here in the States? Yes. So what?

If someone is actually reading this, please comment on what you've read. I'd love to know what you think.

More ATL Stuff

2005-08-09T23:41:00.000-05:00

The second ATL I did in Matamoros was a miserable failure. No one shared what God had shown them with any confidence. We didn't know where to go. We didn't find a single thing that we thought God was telling us.

Is that what made it a failure? No. What made it a failure was that I didn't really talk about it with them in the debrief.

So, here's what happened.

I talked with them - they were all boys, with the exception of one female leader - about what we were doing and why. I gave them the verses that have become my staple, Rev 3:20 and John 14:21, and sent them off to pray. They came back and had nothing. No one shared anything except for 'a red arrow.' During our discussion, one of the kids said that he wasn't convinced that God was real...what to do? I sent them off again and this time they came back with a little bit more information. They saw pink. Pink!

I felt a disaster coming on.

We started off in some random direction with Tori leading the way. We would get to an intersection and I would ask them which way we should go. No one would answer. Except for Tori. She got really frustrated with their inaction and ended up leading them around, starting conversations with people (through a translator) and trying to get these boys to do what they should be doing. She was unsuccessful.

We eventually gave up and headed back to the church. No one was saved. We didn't really talk to anyone except for some kids - they may have come to VBS, but I don't know for sure. When we got back, I tried to talk with them about what happened, but it just didn't seem to click. I did talk about whether or not we had heard the voice of God and how we apparently had not, but...it was just weird.

I did two more ATL's on that trip, both with two different teams from Georgia. They were from a different church than the boys mentioned above. On each of those trips, we saw EVERYTHING that God revealed. Why were they so different?

I think that God did reveal things to the boys in my second group and they, for whatever reason, were reluctant to share what it was. I say this for a number, 3, of reasons. 1) In all the ATLs I have done (somewhere around 12), God has always shown things to the people in the group - with the exception of this one group. 2) They were all junior high boys and appeared to be extremely concerned about what everyone thought about them. 3) The church they were from didn't seem to have an open spirit about this kind of thing. By this, I mean that it didn't appear that one could say something like, 'I saw something Irish' as a man did in one ATL I did, without worrying about rejection or condemnation. The other two churches on this trip were eager to see what God was doing while the people from this church stood to the side and sort of just watched. Not that there is anything wrong with watching, but they didn't really participate in most of the out-of-the-box stuff on the trip. At the end of the trip, I did see a definite change of heart in their youth leader. Maybe next year will be different.

Was it really a disaster? I guess it wasn't, at least for me. I learned that I need to make them comfortable with sharing. That I need to NOT take the responsibilty of the ATL's success on me.

The next day, I got to lead two more ATLs and saw God work in powerful ways.

Missionary or Mission Field?

2005-08-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

So, I was in Fresno, CA, doing some video taping for Champions For Life (Bill Glass Ministries). Wendell Tyler, former running back for the 49ers, was speaking at one of the banquets and, as he left, he said, 'Remember, you're either a missionary or a mission field.'

For me, it was one of those 'hhhmmmm' moments. You know, when you sort of react and then you freeze, thinking about whatever was just said? Could it be true? Or is this one of those puesdo-profound statements that one reads on church signs?

So, I started thinking. It sounded reasonable. Which one was I? What about the people I go to church with? I mean, it's easy to apply this to the masses of people who don't go to church, but what about those of us who go to church? Am I a mission field? Are my friends a mission field? What about the kids in my sunday school class?

Ok, on some level, we're all a mission field. Everyone needs work at something. No one's perfect.

Having said that, I started to view the people around me in a totally different light. Now, just about everyone I meet or have any contact with, I ask the question, 'are they a missionary or a mission field?'

What, exactly, is a missionary? How does one determine if another person is a missionary or a mission field? I'm glad you asked.

I think that a missionary is someone who shares their faith verbally and with their works.

Does someone share their faith verbally? No? Mission field. Do they go out of their way to share their faith with their works? No? Mission field.

Does this mean that someone who isn't a missionary isn't a good Christian? I don't think that's the point. I think that someone who isn't a missionary just hasn't moved there yet - for whatever reason. I am talking here about small 'm' missionary. Not big 'M'-move-to-Africa-for-the-rest-of-your-life Missionary. I think that everyone is called to be a missionary (see two previous links and Matthew 4:19).

I started looking at my sunday school class as a mission field. Instead of seeing them as little Christians, I started to view them as a mission field and as people who needed to be taught how to be missionaries. While in SS, I presented the gospel whenever I could. I told them stories of the cool stuff that happened to me on my mission trips. I prayed for them (not as much as I should have). Kind of like when I was a teacher and I figured out that the seniors I had looked like adults, but still didn't know how to act like it. I made it my goal to show them how to behave like adults and it paid off.

Well, when I came back from a mission trip in Harlan, KY, the LABC kids had just returned from their mission trip in Matamoros. They were talking about it in SS large group and Caleb stated that he and some of the others in his group had prayed and asked God to show them something. Caleb said that he and a few others got a picture of an old woman that they had seen a day or two before. They found the lady again, talked to her, and she came to faith in Christ!

What does this have to do with our theme today? I asked Caleb about it and he said that he prayed because of the ATL I told him about. He moved from being a mission field to being a missionary. Way cool.

When Carla and I were in Harlan, we started to pray for the salvation of some of the kids on the mission trip. It was apparent that some of them weren't very strong in their faith and that others weren't even saved. By the end of the week, two of them had come to faith in Christ. We viewed them as a mission field, instead of missionaries.

What about you? Are you a missionary or a mission field? If you don't pick...you're a mission field. However, the cool thing is, you get to pick.

Saltillo Notes

2005-07-07T00:15:00.000-05:00

It is truly amazing, the things that have happened on this trip thus far. I wish I could convey the feelings I have. I’m so tired – beyond belief, really. I’m frustrated, addlepated, and ready to go to bed. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Yet, I love it. God has worked in mighty ways with the kids with this group. He has taken words I have said and used them to speak to the kids and adults. He has used the sit down with Jesus material to open kids’ eyes, break their hearts, heal their hearts, and speak to them.

I apologize to the future me who will have to try to remember all this vague stuff.

I arrived around dinner time on Thursday, 6/23, and went to the Gateway. I moved into my room – the same one that Carla, the girls, and I had used – and hung around talking with anyone who had time. At the end of dinner, I was told that Giovanni was there – the setup coordinator. I met him and realized that I had met him earlier at the jfbc trip in October of 04. We went to the AIM office and had a meeting that lasted about three hours. I asked him questions about much of the stuff I knew I was going to have to do and he either gave me answers or reassurances that all would be well. What’s supposed to happen on the day before a trip is the project leader drives to all the different ministry sites, checks them out, meets the pastors, and determines what construction supplies are needed, if any. It was not possible/recommended for us to go to Saltillo, so all we could do was go to Reynosa, find Bigo’s and the hotel. No problemo. We drove to Reynosa the next day and drove around. We found the hotel and checked on the food and rooms. All was as it should be…except the fact that I didn’t have enough money in the budget sent to me to pay for them. I had been trying to get in touch with Juan, Rick, Jennifer, Steve, YoMama, - everyone. We couldn’t find Bigo’s. I finally got in touch with Rick and he said that the reason I couldn’t find the money in my budget, as that it wasn’t there. He said he would get the money for me asap. Juan eventually got me the money from an atm in the states. For some reason, he gave me an additional $600.

I had arranged to meet Steve Miller, the youth dude, at his hotel in Donna, TX, at 9:00

Friday night, I was busy getting everything ready – the van, my stuff, arrangements for the translators, everything. The translators: Michelle, a US citizen, 18, Three sisters, Maria, Lupita, and Juanita, all lived in Progresso, a small city about half way in between Matamoros and Reynosa. Juan L and I arranged for him to go and get Michelle in the US and to meet me on the south side of the border. Giovanni can’t go north, so I was going to have to leave him while I went north. I looked up the group’s hotel and downloaded a map from the border. I’m so smart…

So, on Saturday, Giovanni and I drove to Progresso to get the sisters. They were there, but they didn’t know we were coming, so they were asleep.

We met the pastor today, 6/27. He came to the hotel and we went out to the two ministry sites – one for the church foundation, the other for the ministry. We are digging holes that are 1 meter square. 20 of them. We are doing the other ministry at his current church, a building that he is renting. We have doubled up on construction and vbs. We also moved vbs to 4:00 at his request. We were going to go to the regular time, when some of his members came and asked if we could not do it 1-4. I offered the morn, but they seemed to want the 4-7 slot. When one of my team leaders, Frank, mentioned that that would make it easier to double up on vbs, I went for it.

The first atl we did was interesting. I talked, we all prayed and got some very specific stuff – I saw a yellow ford f-150 with a man working on the engine, someone else saw a woman in white, standing on a sidewalk between two blue men (?). No one got a specific direction. Someone got a picture of a place surrounded by mountains and someone else saw a bird. (I found out that someone in the group is a habitual liar. I wonder if this affected what happened…). So, we walked all around and didn’t really see any of the things we were looking for – except for the yellow ford, but I’m not sure of the significance of that. One thing is for sure, I was supposed to tell them everything and I didn’t – at first. I can’t help but wonder that my disobedience affected the outcome.

Pre-Project Jitters

2005-06-24T23:36:00.000-05:00

Hola,

I'm leaving the Gateway, AIM's Matamoros base, tomorrow at 7 am and meeting my group in Donna, TX. We're going to go across the border, get our visas and travel permits, then go to Reynosa, check into a hotel, do our training, and spend the night.

We'll leave at 7 am and arrive in Saltillo around 12:30 pm.

Please continue to pray for my family and for me. Also, please pray for the participants on the trip. It is very important that they focus on why they're here - to build relationships and share the gospel.

mark

Saltillo, Pre-Trip Stuff

2005-06-24T01:09:00.000-05:00

I got to the Gateway right before dinner and was able to eat with the group that is leaving tomorrow.

I found Giovanni, the guy I'll be doing the trip with. It turns out that I met him last year on the Johnson's Ferry Baptist Church trip. He's a good guy.

We spent about three hours talking through the schedule and all the practical stuff. I feel MUCH better about meeting the group on Saturday. I've got a real schedule and some things to tell them. We'll see what happens.

It is overwhelming the amount of detail that goes into a trip like this. I just keep thinking about II Corinthians 12:9 and I feel better.

I am excited about the opportunity to finally lead a mission trip, but scared that I'll forget something important. 'Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.' I Peter 5:13.

mark

To Saltillo

2005-06-23T02:10:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

I'm in DFW about to get on a small plane to Houston and then to Harlingen.

Please pray for me and my family this week.

mark

Ask The Lord

2005-06-20T14:38:00.000-05:00

Ask The Lord (ATL).

Sounds innocuous, but do we really do it? By this, I mean, do we ask, then wait patiently and quietly for an answer?

Allow me to tell you what happened on my mission trip with AIM in Matamoros from 6/3 to 6/10. I'll preface this by saying that I was there and saw it with my own eyes...

The daily schedule for an AIM mission trip is divided into two ministry slots. The slots are usually 9 am to 12 pm and 1 pm to 4 pm. Participants are scheduled for any number of different types of ministry: Prayer walking, door-to-door evangelism, VBS, sports evangelism, feedings, and construction. For instance, in the morning, your team of 6 - 8 people may go prayer walking. At noon, you would return to the church base area, eat lunch, then, at 1 pm, go out and work on the house that your team is helping to build.

Sometimes, instead of the activities listed above, AIM groups have an ATL (come on, one has to have a cool acronym). During the ministry time, this group will not have a scheduled activity. Their only mandate is to pray and ask God what he would have them do. After spending time in prayer and then talking about what they believe God wants them to do, the group goes out and does it. Whatever it is.

I know what you're thinking, "It's crazy, there's no accountability, it's dangerous, God doesn't work that way, fill in your own objection here." Stick with me, Chester.

I was able to lead four different teams on an ATL. In each case, I talked with them for five to ten minutes, explaining what we were going to do. I showed them examples from my life and the Word where God spoke to ordinary humans. Then, I showed them the test we were going to apply to each supposed word from God:

Is it scriptural?
Does it exalt Christ?
Do other Christians confirm it?
Does it bear good fruit?
Does God bring it to pass?

I would then say a short prayer asking God to clear their minds of the voice of the enemy, the voice of the world, and, finally, their own incessant voice so they could clearly hear what he had to tell them. After dismissing them, I would stay and pray for their protection as they opened themselves up to the God and Father of all.

While I stood there, I would do my own ATL. "God, should I tell them to come back now? How about now? Now? Is that long enough?" You get the picture. When I would finally feel that God was telling me to bring them back together, I would call them in and ask the question - 'What do you think God wants us to do?'

Of the four groups, three were very responsive and willing to share, while the fourth was significantly more reticent. More on this at another time. Also, let me stress that most of these kids were junior high kids.

So, in the first group, there were immediate responses to my question. One boy said that he saw a woman in a pink shirt, sitting with children at her feet who had their legs crossed and a green house with two windows in front. Another boy said he saw the number six. A girl said, rather sheepishly, that she saw a big, black hole. One of the other boys said he saw a milk carton. The leader, a young woman in her early twenties, said she kept hearing the word evangelism and that we were supposed to go 'right.' When I asked her, "who's right?" she said, "my right." We briefly went over the test, decided we passed and moved out.

Off we went, filled with excitement and trepidation. Would God show up? We walked for what seemed like forever in the heat of the Matamoros afternoon. I thought we should stop and talk about why we weren't seeing anything, so we stepped into some shade on the shoulder. There was a house nearby with some kids about junior high age and our kids made some awkward attempts at conversation. After it became apparent that they were not interested in what we had to say, we left the house and gathered under the slight shade.

I had them all turn around and look at how far we had come. Not far at all, less than half a mile. I think I pointed out something brilliant like, "this is just like the Christian life, isn't it?" and we decided to move on.

The next house was a green house with two windows on the front, a woman in a pink shirt was sitting on the porch with children at her feet (I found out later that they did have their legs crossed when we got there. Also, it was house number 36. Apparently, this didn't feel right to the guy who said he saw a 6). One of the younger participants starting talking to her and discovered that she had been a Christian, but didn't think she was anymore. He led her through the plan of salvation and showed her how she was still saved. Using scripture, he was able to let her know that she was still saved. This was, apparently, much needed comfort to her.

We left them and continued walking, still looking for a six and a black hole... After passing a few more houses, we came upon a house with a couple sitting outside talking. Again, some of the younger participants started up a conversation with them. As they were talking, I noticed a big, black , mostly empty, trash can. The woman they were taking to accepted Christ as her savior. Amen, praise God, way cool.

As we were leaving, I was told that it was house number 6.

I have to go to bed, more later.
mark

The Gateway

2005-06-08T09:15:00.000-05:00

AIM's base in Matamoros is called the Gateway. The facilities are on sixty acres of land between Matamoros and the border. (Please forgive my spelling) There is a comidor that feeds 150 people at a time, dormitories that sleep 300+, a bodega (garage) to maintain a fleet of 6 to 7 vans and 3 buses, sleeping areas for staff, and offices for the Mexico branch of AIM. All in all, a very good facility. Everything is air conditioned, except the comidor and the garage, and there is hot and cold running water and internet access for staff - as is evident...

All AIM activities in Matamoros start from the Gateway. Participants drive over the border and stay in the Gateway for the length of their trip. They wake up in the morning, have breakfast, do devotionals and chores, have praise and worship, then head out into Matamoros to do ministry. As an aside, there is another AIM ministry that stays in Matamoros all the time, the First Year Missionaries.

A typical day has participants (who are all in teams of 6 - 10 with an adult leader), going out into the community to minister to the locals. The teams go in two shifts, the first in the morning, the second in the afternoon. Who woulda thunk? For example, a team would do VBS in the morning, then, after a lunch break at the church, do door-to-door in the afternoon. The next day, the same team may do praywalking, construction, visiting a rehabilitation center or the youth detention center, and so on throughout the week.

All activities in the city of Matamoros are focused on whichever church AIM is helping that week. This way, the local church benefits, not AIM. When participants are doing to door-to-door and someone makes a decision or requests more information, those details are given to the local pastor. When participants give a VBS, it is usually done at the church, but always in the name of the church. Sometimes, as is the case this week, a project is so large that it requires two ministry sites - this is AIMSpeak for the church in a colonia (neighborhood).

Yesterday, 6/7, I was in the evangelism coordinator for site 2. Basically, all I had to do was make sure the groups had their materials and knew where they were going. I also had to make sure that they turned in any response cards at the end of the day.

Tori and I went out on door-to-door with one of the groups. Actually, I forgot Tori at the VBS site and had to go back and get her...oops. Anyway, the group was pretty solid, so Tori and I just hung back, watched and did the prayer walking thing. First, they went to a house they have visited the day before. The guy there had seemed very interested in what they had to say about the gospel and had requested they come back. They stood outside the fence and called to him and, just as we were walking away, he came out. He was pretty young, maybe 25. Some of the participants talked with him and shared scripture with him while the rest of us prayed and talked. After some discussion, he accepted Christ as his savior. Sorry about the dry sounding report, I was standing in the back and couldn't hear...all I know is that there is another brother in the kingdom. Amen.

The group then went to another house and talked with the lady there. As we were leaving, another lady came up to me and motioned for us to go to her house, which was next door. Through one of our translators, she asked if we had any holy water. She said that her son had seen a red-headed doll walking in the house and that she felt a demonic presence. She wanted us to come in and pray for her and her family. We prayed as a group, then sent in Mike, one of the adult leaders, and Trinity, the translator. Three of the participants also went in - they're all seventh and eighth graders and are mostly all very bold in their faith. The rest of us stayed outside and prayed for their protection.

I don't know exactly what went on inside, but outside we had church. I was able to lead the group in prayer and they jumped in. We prayed, read scripture and sang. Totally awesome.

It was a great experience for me to be there and to be a part of what God is doing in Matamoros. It is different, being a staffer and not a participant. That is a story for later... The most incredible thing, for me as a father, was to see my Tori. She did not want to be there and wanted to be back at the Gateway in the air conditioning. Through some circumstances, she was not able to stay at the Gateway and I had to take her with me (Carla was following the project leader around for the day and Kaylie was at the Gateway). I talked with her about letting God help her make it a good day, rather than dwelling on the circumstances that kept her away from the ac. Apparently, she did it. While I was talking with a young man who had brought his daughter for VBS, Tori took his daughter to the playground and played with her. He accepted Christ as his savior and I can't stop thinking that Tori had a significant role in this by playing with his daughter and allowing him to focus on our conversation. When we went on door-to-door, she was very bold, walking up to mothers and children and, with the help of a translator, engaging them in conversation. I even saw her praying on the curb as others of our group talked with someone.

Please don't think this is one of those, 'look how great my kids are' things. Although, of course, it is. This is an answer to prayer for me. Tori can be very compassionate, but only does this from time to time. I have been praying about this and it is wonderful to see it happening.

mark

Matamoros Project Leader Training

2005-06-03T23:11:00.000-05:00

We have been at the Gateway, AIM's Mexico base, since yesterday and are doing some serious Project Leader training. We've had a chance to get to know four other people who are going to be project leaders and spend time with them.
Today, we went around Matamoros to the different ministry sites and were exposed to the abject poverty of some parts of Matamoros.
We also met two pastors, Peter and Teofilia, that will be working with AIM and for whom AIM will be ministering this next week.
Please pray for us as we go through this next week. Carla got very sick tonight and needs to rest.

Matamoros Project Leader Training

2005-06-01T12:43:00.000-05:00

Carla, the girls, and I will be heading to Matamoros, MX on 6/2 for project leader training. We will be renting a car and driving to Harlingen, TX where Steve Basden will pick us up. We'll have our first meeting Thursday night and then we'll be following my friend Cesar Gonzales as he does the project leader thing.

In order to be a project leader for AIM, one has to go to project leader training. They used to do it in Atlanta. One would sit for two days in a classroom in Atlanta and learn all the stuff one had to do to be a project leader. Woo. Hoo. Now, you get to go on a project and learn on the job.

I'm really looking forward to this as this will be the first time my daughters have been out of the country. Also, they will have a chance to meet and play with other AIM kids. Cesar's two girls and Thomi Wilson's five kids will be there. They will all get a chance to go on the mission trip and follow the mission participants around. Most importantly, we will be able to do ministry as a family.
When I went to China last year, I felt like I wasn't all there. (Insert joke here) Without my girls with me, I didn't feel like I was experiencing it fully.

Please pray for us as we do this work. We will need all the prayer we can get.
Our mission schedule for the summer is as follows:

June 2 to 10 - Matamoros
June 13 to 18 - VBS at LABC
June 23 to July 2 - Saltillo, MX. I'll be without the girls
July 9 to 18 - Harlan, KY

Fresno WOC Sunday

2005-05-15T09:54:00.000-05:00

We went to the Juvenile facility again. I was able to see Jon Kregel - he played soccer with Pele, of all people. He had a really good message and was able to show the kids how success doesn't mean you've made it. I realize this is a very dry way to put it...

Next was Don Simpson. Don's claim to fame is that he spent seventeen years, nine months in Kansas penitentuaries for killing three people. That's it. No Super Bowl ring, no rags to riches. Just rags.

Now, to be fair to Don, he's built like Herschel Walker. It's obvious from his build and demeanor that he could have gone far in pro sports. As a matter of fact, he currently is a strength trainer for some semi-pro teams. When he walks into the room, everyone notices him. But, as he so eloquently said, he was stuck on stupid.

When he spoke to the large group - about 200 kids - he made a good impression. He does a good job of scaring and cajoling the kids - he's a 52 year old grandfather with six kids of his own, so he knows those ropes also.

However, he really came through when I saw him in a small group of about ten kids. We were in the lockdown unit and he spoke in a small room with the kids, guards, and WOC teammates sitting around him. He is much more impressive and intimidating up close. He spoke of hitting sixty-four people with an iron bar and how four of them still haven't woken up. He said he did this because he didn't want to take the time to argue with them.

He also called a kid out that was, in his opinion, showing some attitude. He's not afraid to tell them exactly what he thinks about where they're going and why they shouldn't go. I think his best line was, "I've been down the road you're headed and believe me, you don't want to go there."

Our next stop was solitary confinement. Don spoke to about six kids who were confined to their cells, only three of which could even open the food slot to listen. The rest had to listen from behind a completely sealed off door - no bars or mesh, just a small window.

It was truly amazing to see this huge man filled with the love of God and having compassion on these children. At the end of his session, as the guards were telling us we had to leave, he lead three of them to faith in Christ. Praise God! What else can I say?

I thank God that I am able to go on these weekends and that he is using me for his kingdom.

Fresno WOC Saturday

2005-05-15T01:10:00.000-05:00

Today, I went to Chowchilla, the largest women's unit in America. To say it was an eye-opening experience would be an understatement. I had been in one women's unit before, the Henley unit in South Texas, and it wasn't anything like this one.

Alan Orr and I arrived at the unit at 8:30 am and went to the Visitor's Center. There were about forty people there, waiting to get in to see a relative. Forty people for a prison population of almost 3700...do the math. We stood around and waited for Kevin K (I can't spell his last name), the Public Information Officer (PIO). He was going to be my minder for the day. He was a very nice guy, but still made it clear that I wasn't to go anywhere without him.

While we waited, I had to inventory my bag and go over it with an officer. No big deal.

We had to wait a while for Kevin, but he showed up around 9 and we made our way into the yard. It would probably be more accurate to call it the field. I don't know, but it was much larger than any yard I've ever seen. There was a cement walking track around the outside and a lot of grass in the middle. The stage was set up on the back of a big flatbed truck. I set up the camera on the truck and left it on for a shot that would show all the inmates walking in. Woo. Hoo.

Just watching the inmates walk in was an experience. They all walked in in an orderly fashion and sat down - most of them - but then started moving around. Most of them would stay in one place, apparently to save a spot, but there didn't appear to be a rule about moving around. I'm not saying there should be, it was just different. Also, they could smoke. Personally, I could care less if inmates are allowed to smoke or not, but after coming from the Texas prison system, it was weird to see that. Kevin told me that after 7/1, no tobacco would be allowed on the grounds - even from staff.

I could feel and see the spritual oppression over the whole place. Many of the women were tattooed extensively. Most of the tattoos were gang tattoos or some kind of possessive marking. By this I mean that they had, apparently, been marked by someone else. There were a few women that I had to double and triple check to see if they were, indeed, women. I have seen some butch women before, but the ones I saw there really were under demonic influence. Say what you will, but my heart broke for them in their bondage and the way they have been deceived.

We filmed Rick Cruz and Sandy Fatow. He is a hispanic performer (most excellent) and she has a rag/drugs to riches, fell and found Jesus story. There is no way I could do her story justice, you have to hear it for yourself.

More later.

Fresno WOC

2005-05-13T08:25:00.000-05:00

I'm in Fresno, CA with Champions For Life (CFL), a Bill Glass ministry that does evangelism in the nation's prisons. Even though I have no more experience that anyone else with a video camera, I was asked to come here to help film in some of the surrounding prisons.

Yesterday, we did some pretty boring video of a meeting between the CFL coordinators and the wardens and staff of Chowchilla Women's facility - it's billed as the largest women's prison in the world.

Last night, I filmed the freshman training. There were about 300 people in an EV Free church here in Fresno. It went fairly well and I got some good 'before' interviews with from a group of college kids at the training. Tonight, I'll get the 'after' interviews. These are fun because you can see the changes in their attitudes and their excitement from the day in prison. They are with the Joshua Wilderness Institute and seem like a great bunch.

Today, I will be filming in the juvenile facility. Bill Glass will be doing his Blessing speech to a bunch of kids without fathers. The Blessing talks about how we need to be blessed by our fathers and how we have a heavenly father who wants to bless us.

Please pray for my family as they usually come under spiritual attack whenever we go on a prison visit. Pray for me also, as I go into the stronghold of the enemy.

New Blog

2005-05-01T23:28:00.000-05:00

This is my new blog.

My old one is at marklindberg.blogspot.com. It has been put to another use...notes on my brother, Tim.